i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
