On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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