you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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