We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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