There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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