glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
