So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
