Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
