God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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