just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
