My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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