I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
