It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
