Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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