just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want to make out with him forever
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
