Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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