sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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