I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
