man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
