there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We talked him into tasing himself.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize