We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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