I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
