after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
