I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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