I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
