toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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