Plan B is the new Plan A
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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