I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
