Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
