are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
