how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
