It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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