I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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