i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
