my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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