I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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