But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize