I wanna passion pit in your ass
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Green mimosas i think yes
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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