...so i touched it.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
