your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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