She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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