your room smells of hookers.
And success
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
