My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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