So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
