insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize