At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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