At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
