I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
