Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
