this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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