...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
