Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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