I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
