"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
