I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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