I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
