i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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