apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize