WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
