i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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