i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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