There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize