yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
