new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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