normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
