And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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