y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize