i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
