your thong is hanging out like whoa
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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