Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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