i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
