I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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