Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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